I am not one of those bloggers who plans his next blog long in advance. I guess I am the same way about any kind of writing I do. That would certainly explain why it took from 1985 until 2011 for me to complete my book, “Was That a Name I Dropped?”. I needed to feel inspired, otherwise all I would do would be to sit at a typewriter (when I started writing the book in 1985 I used a Smith Corona), or word processor or eventually a full-fledged computer, and peck away randomly.
The title for this blog came to me while sitting at Cheers recently, enjoying a deliciously decadent burger. It was worth every calorie I told myself as I aggressively did 65 minutes on the treadmill a few hours later.
While sitting in the restaurant I noticed what appeared to be a mother and father sit down across the room, with a child who appeared to be no more than 7 or 8.
Immediately upon being seated the mother pulled out a hand held device and began texting furiously while the father took out his cell phone and placed a call. The child began to fidget until his mother told him firmly, “If you don’t sit there quietly while we finish our business, you don’t get to eat!!”
The child looked crestfallen and hardly touched his burger when it was eventually delivered and the parents continued, throughout their meal, to check their cell phones and other electronic paraphernalia, in between bites, barely exchanging comments to one another much less their child.
I know I am being incredibly stodgy and old-fashioned when I note my concerns, but I remember dining out with my parents, as a child, dozens of times and always enjoying the completeness of the experience. While children were often advised to be “seen but not heard”, we were certainly included in many conversations and never felt left out.
Is there such a need to be connected and involved virtually every single second to the exclusion of building real connections and relationships with people?
During my frequent walks around Concord and through White Park, which is near where I live, I am sometimes stunned into silence by what I witness.
Almost to a person whether pushing a baby carriage, walking a dog, doing a power walk or idly strolling, everyone seems to be holding a cell phone in one hand and carrying on a conversation.
While cell phones are wonderful – I can’t imagine going on a trip in a car without one, because of the added security in being able to seek assistance or if you come upon someone in distress being able to help. However, I never want to feel my cell phone is an ever present accessory.
How quickly a child grows up and the parent who is gabbing on the phone while wheeling the child through the park is missing out on the kind of bonding experience that can only occur when you are fully engaged. Likewise, when walking and observing everything around you, you may see once in a lifetime moments that you’ll carry with you forever. The sunlight casting a particular aura over the park’s pond or the sky suddenly turning an especially appealing shade of blue for just an instant. Quick glimpses at something extraordinary that can color your attitude for the rest of the day.
Sometimes as I walk down Main Street I fear I have stumbled into a Science Fiction film because so few make eye contact as you walk toward them. A vast majority are busy talking on the phone frequently not even aware of how precariously close they come to either walking into someone else or walking off the curb. Maybe the new street design should include cushioned trenches in case the inevitable does happen.
Trips downtown used to be especially memorable because of the social interaction with friends and acquaintances you would encounter or even strangers with whom you’d nod or smile.
In Market Basket recently I pushed my cart down the aisle quickly after overhearing a woman talking to someone on the phone about her “inflamed Hemorrhoids”, apparently without any compunction about what should perhaps be a personal topic.
Another time I was picking up bandages at Hannaford near the Pharmacy while a man loudly asked whether Viagra or Cialis would provide him with the best result.
I hear people boast about how many “friends” they have on Facebook, one acquaintance informing me that he has more than 300 friends and untold followers.
I am clearly old-fashioned in thinking that friends are people with whom I share some deeper level of experiences and not someone I might correspond with in the new form of shorthand and computer lingo replete with shortcuts for certain words. Sure, there is no doubt some of these “friends” may be really friends or family members but I always believed that you built a friendship through time and it involved more than simply applying a name to someone “out there”. I have friends I have known since grammar school and while we may correspond via e-mail from time to time, it’s the cards and/or letters that I relish. Whenever I pull one out it inevitably makes me feel the same warmly winning way it did when first received.
While shortcuts and amassing a lot of friends and followers may be a temporary salve in making you feel loved, I’ll still settle for the personal touch and taking the time to build something that will last.
Horrors, but I’ve even heard stories about the trauma some suffer when they are “unfriended”.
